Wasnt Always Confident ..

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You will have noticed that I have mentioned some of the things that help me feel self confident.

It’s something (somewhat) newly acquired. I wasn’t always self confident, I’ve WORKED damn hard to get to where I am! It’s still something I have to work for (and on) every day. Self love is hard work, especially when you’re prone to focusing on the negatives in life, and let’s face it – giving in to the darkness is all too easy! Purposely, I need to consciously put the effort into seeing the beauty around me, the beauty within me.

I’ve been with my (now) Husband for the past 13 years, this year. I can recall spending weekends at his house and NOT ONCE doing a poo until I got back to MY house! I would refuse to have sex in the day time, I wouldn’t let him see me naked, ever! I never wore flesh baring clothing, the shortest pair of shorts I had were knee length; the shortest skirt I owned was knee length .. I wouldn’t wear a bikini and if I did I covered it with an oversized shirt and a pair of male board shorts .. I was so insecure within myself! I NEVER was caught without makeup! I wouldn’t eat, I would starve myself and allow only one day a week where I would eat; and on my eating day, I would binge. I was so insecure. (This did change, I was essentially forced to eat at his house on weekends haha)

I would never jump in photos (this was well before the selfie obsession took over the world!) I don’t have many photos of myself as a preteen or a teen .. I have photos from about 19 onwards – one of my biggest ‘regrets’ in a way.

For years I would dream of my (now) Husband cheating on me, I would always be thinking he was on the lookout for something better; I thought very little of myself. I would go through his phone and try to find evidence of his cheating (he would only ever work and go home), I changed his MSN settings so all his conversations were saved into a secret folder .. I would always point out attractive girls to see how he looked at them in comparison to myself – I would feel jealous and paranoid if we even watched a tv show or movie with an attractive woman in it .. even god damn animated characters would make me feel bad about myself! Absolutely, NO JOKE!!

After a while, the both of us talked and decided we weren’t going to use protection during sex; instead we were going to try for a baby. I fell pregnant (I will NEVER forget his reaction when we took the positive pregnancy test!!) His reaction was thee best .. ‘what does it say? .. My baby is going to have my baby’.

Self esteem during pregnancy took its toll. I HAD to eat every day, otherwise I was sick. I did anything and everything to not put on ‘too’ much weight. (As soon as I delivered our daughter, I went skinner than I was prior to pregnancy, literally as soon as she was out! .. I was stunned and so grateful) I am not sure I would cope being bigger again (there is nothing wrong with it-just how I thought)

Two days before I gave birth to our daughter, I moved into his parents house (where he lived) so it was inevitable having to do a Poo in the house, haha .. I was beginning to get comfortable with having to do a Poo when he was in the same house. I mean, I was going to have to get used to it!

Labour room, my then Boyfriend saw me at my most venerable, I gave birth to his Daughter, he saw everything .. I shat on the table (LOL, Child Birth ain’t Pretty ladies) he saw a baby come out of my Pretty little ladybug. He was amazing in the labour room .. during the entire thing.

I can recall feeling A LOT worse about myself afterwards, I mean, he saw my ladybug stretched and open enough to push a baby out .. I was so much more insecure, thinking he was never going to want to touch me, let alone have sex with me; then the unthinkable happened, during the six week recovery period, he randomly turned to me one day and said ‘fuck, I can’t wait to have sex with you’ .. those words were exactly what I needed to hear. By the end of the sixth week, on the date we had SEX! It was during the day; I let him see me naked after child birth, I began showering with him; I wasn’t self confident, I was just comfortable enough now. After all, anything was better than being in the labour room in THAT state!

We moved into our own home when our daughter was 3 months old, sex was rampant – Day time, Night time – anywhere we wanted, but I wasn’t self confident – I was still thinking he was going to leave me, I still was thinking he was going to cheat on me.

I still thought very little of myself. Not to any fault of his, this was all me. I had ‘conditioned’ myself into thinking I was nothing, I wasn’t worthy of anything let alone happiness.

So, when did this change? I had gone the first 19 years of my life certain that I wasn’t worthy. I lost my job as a Medical Receptionist due to the surgery closing down; I scored a job at a Strip Club as a waitress. Soon; I would become a stripper. This is where my life changed; or rather my perspective on myself.

I didn’t decide to be a stripper because I thought I was good enough, it was purely the money. I love music, I love dancing – this suited me .. I became very good at my job, making great money; my self confidence was growing.

I became a different person. Slowly I began realising I was worthy. I was wanted, desired by more than just my then boyfriend. I wasn’t tempted by anyone else, it just helped me see that I was no where as hideous as I grew up believing. I had something to offer the world. I’ve always known that obtaining self confidence in this industry wasn’t the best thing; but it worked for me. I stayed in the industry for about 5-6 years. I had fun in the industry, met some amazing people.

I am grateful that I decided to go into dancing. It changed my life; it changed my view on myself. I eventually got a breast augmentation (boob job in short) OMG, another life changing decision that changed my life. I got into modelling for Men’s Magazines, got centrefold and front cover, sold images in England and the US and of course Australia – they don’t just put anyone on the front cover or centrefold; but I got it. I even told my photographer that I wasn’t certain the images would sell; but every single shoot did. I didn’t pay to be photographed, but I was paid for my images!

I still have my magazines, ultimate confidence boost. I was seeing myself in another light, I was worthy, I was attractive and I was seeing my self worth.

It got to a stage where I was no longer looking at other women and feeling shitty about myself. I have always been interested in men, however I can also appreciate another woman’s beauty. I love the female body. I would be able to appreciate their beauty, without cutting myself down and absolutely obliterating myself; this was huge. It didn’t happen over night; I think I just began believing what I had been told since I was so young – I don’t know why I couldn’t see or believe it before hand. I wish I knew.

Stripping and being an Men’s Magazine model won’t help everyone; in fact the industry eventually breaks you. I broke a few times. If it weren’t for my supportive Husband; I don’t believe I would be here today. I owe him my life. He not only supported me; he was also a driving force for me to see myself as an independent, strong and worthy woman.

I am grateful that I no longer struggle as badly with my self confidence. I am grateful that my thoughts are mostly under control.

I am worthy of feeling worthy and so are you!

Have you obtained self confidence in an ‘odd’ way? I’d LOVE to hear about it!

Pinterest – https://pin.it/mdjfzpnx7yw3vo

Until the next entry xx (HOPING this post doesn’t publish itself in caps!)

💋SNOBFACE xx

EVERYDAY Skin Care + Make Up Routine.

How long does it take for you to apply your face of a morning? I know girls who literally take well over an hour to apply – then there are others who literally smash it out in minutes.

Don’t get me wrong, I mean I could totally take HOURS getting ready – Make up is FUN! My ‘glamour’ look can take about an hour to do when I am taking my time and attempting to achieve perfection. Having said this, I don’t have time to be GLAM everyday (and who the hell WANTS TO?) I barely have time to brush my hair of a morning before work, LOL!

I rely on my everyday make up routine to help me feel confident. It takes me about 15-20 minutes to apply and I still manage to make our daughters school lunch, and even find my Husband’s socks before I have to leave the house ahaha.

Here is how my weekday morning goes –

  • 1. Brush my toothypegs! This helps me to not only ‘wake up’ but to also get rid of that horrible morning breath – yes, I suffer from morning breath – doesn’t everyone? MY toothpaste is magical, naturally whitens teeth while offering 24hr protection against plaque – Our company holds the patent.

  • 2. Wash my face. Every morning, I cleanse, tone and moisturise. Then I apply a primer; My primer minimises pores and helps my eye and wrinkle creams to ‘soak’ in more beneficially.

  • 3. Apply my Ideal Eyes and Line Corrector creams (anti-ageing baby!!) One rids the dark bags under my eyes (that I no longer have) and the other, removes lines – again, I no longer have these.

  • 4. Apply my foundation. I blend using my hands – BAD I know, but this works for me. I figure as it’s a pump bottle, I shouldn’t be collecting any bacteria, right? HA!
  • 5. Apply my Finishing Powder. I LOVE my Finishing Powder; it not only banishes shine, it also gives a matte appearance – LOVE! I tend to have a shine at the end of the day if I haven’t applied this – shiny ain’t cute!

  • 6. Apply a blush. I use this differently than some. I apply on my cheeks, tip of my nose, around the top of my forehead and framed around my face. I like how it gives colour to your complexion. *If I am going for a contoured look – I use my bronzer!!
  • 7. Apply my eyelash and eyebrow growth serum – This is AMAZING!! Naturally longer and thicker lashes – I’m working on my brows now that this saved my eyelashes – NEVER again will I get eyelash extensions again!!! I literally had 0.05cm long lashes at one point
  • 8. Line and fill my Brows – I have only thee best eyebrow compact. I line my brows, starting light from the inside and darker to the ends. This compact is PERFECT! Handy travel size, and also comes with tweezers, brush and spooly <- so sure this is misspelt, shh!
  • 9. Apply my Curl & Lash Mascara – the wand has a beautiful curve that lifts the lashes and lengthens them, I use this basically everyday; it’s perfect for everyday and perfect for full glamour! I honestly don’t know why some people don’t wear it – it wakes me up, making your eyeballs POP! Always wear mascara. (It’s a water based mascara, meaning it is safe to use, if you have eyelash extensions.)

  • 10. LIPS! I love a pop of colour, I love the POWERLIPS Fluid more though! Amazing matte shades that don’t bleed or transfer, while infusing beneficial vitamins and hydration to make your lips look and feel amazing. If I don’t feel like colour, I use any sort of clear or lightly tinted lip balm.

  • 11. HIGHLIGHT BOO!!! I have a few amazing (and cheap) highlighters that I use occasionally – I use this on top of my cheek bone, around my temple, a little on the tip of my nose and again on top and bottom of the ends of my brows .. I LOVE a good highlight. I use this for everyday and Glamour .. mostly glamour though.
  • 12. Lastly, but most importantly – setting spray! Mine is a multipurpose spray! This just sets my make up – by the time I finish work, I come home looking the exact same as when I left – WINNING.

That’s my morning routine – the longest part of my routine would be cleaning my face. It’s one of the most important steps; you’re removing old, bacteria ridden make up, removing dead skin cells, cleaning your face; allowing your make up application much smoother (literally) PLUS, this just ensures a clean and flawless finish.

I enjoy cleaning my face! I used to think it was pointless – about a year ago, I began religiously washing my face, morning and night – I very quickly saw the benefits and haven’t stopped since!

The right skin care routine is paramount – as is quality make up.

I want to know what your skin routine looks like. What product/s are you using?

If you’re wanting some help in finding the right skin care system for YOU; email me at snobmiss@outlook.com – I am always looking to help improve people’s lives; I especially enjoy watching the transformation; physically as well as the mental changes, you just FEEL better with a quality skin care system – products to suit every budget.

I have helped many women create a skin care routine, one thing they all have in common? Their Self Confidence absolutely SOARS!! That makes me so happy – my mission, I want to help restore confidence, or help someone achieve it for the first time in their life.

Until next time Beauties xx Stay safe always!

💋SNOBFACE xx

MON-Slay!

Merry Monday BOOO’s!!

I have successfully SLAYED Monday! I work full time at a place called STRATEGIX Training, a Registered Training Organisation. My role here is a Course Coordinator, I #LOVE my job.

I’ve been working here for about 8 months now; usually by this stage I am hating my professional life, so I’m excited the love my number one thought when I think of work!

I’ve been in the workforce since I was 14 and 9 months old – legal age in QLD, Australia. My first Job was Boost Juice, I didn’t last very long there LOL🤘🏽😅 Next was Check Out at Coles, I was here for about a year, casually. I was also going to school at this stage. I hated working at Coles; I’m overly empathetic and very emotional. The rude customers would leave me physically angered, the sad ones would have me in tears .. the bad customers are always the ones I remember straight away. I was good at this job though, I was fast and my packing skills, EPIC! I would have customers line up at my register purely because they liked how I treated their groceries! I was essentially fired from Coles (LOL) I stopped showing up to shifts – I was young and in love 😅😅

My absolute FAVOURITE job I’ve ever had? I was an Exotic Dancer on and off for about 5 years. Legit, some of the BEST and worst moments in my lifetime HA! I often miss that industry; until I remember the harsh truths of the industry! I often miss my old Boss .. she is a BOSS! Still slaying her business and creating bigger and better opportunities for herself. Considering her reality, she has absolutely smashed the odds!

I worked at a Bank for close to 4 years, LOATH isn’t a strong enough to explain how I felt there. It was absolute HELL, corporate HELL! The politics were absolutely MIND BLOWING! Suffice to say, I will NEVER EVER go back to that industry, I’d rather strip! 👌🏽😂

I’ve worked at a telemarketing company, I lasted two days before quitting! I’ve Waitresses, Medical Receptionist, Customer Service .. I’m sure I am missing a few. Right now, I’m grateful I am enjoying my time at STRATEGIX; especially considering we spend so much time working. I would be content in retiring here, although – something tells me this won’t be my last gig. Who knows ..How many jobs have you had in your lifetime?

💋 SNOBFACE xx

Weekend is over .. ✨🤘🏽

I just love blinging my favourite items!! There is something about beautiful, sparkly things. It’s hard for me to explain.

Yesterday, I attacked my iPad Pro case and LED case with beads I had left over from another important event. The end result is AMAZING! ✅ .. As was to be expected!

I used PVA glue to adhere the stones, as I didn’t want to waste any other type of glue – (with stronger glue I run the risk of major damage if and when I want to start again, ie. having to rip them off). Having said this, I never really go back to ‘redo’ anything, I generally start again! 🤘🏽😆 #collector #hoarder

Only took me about 20 minutes to glue on, I let it dry in the sun all day.

I had 4 little stones and 2 big ones left over, so I glued them to my planner – these beads are so meaningful to me; I used them on my wedding dress 💖 Now I get to see them more often on my planner, phone and iPad cases #SPARKLES ✨ Makes me want to use everything more often. I just wanna see it, it’s weird.

There is something about sparkles that just makes me happy on the inside; it brightens my world ✨ My creative world would be dead without glitter, rhinestones, gems, sparkle .. ALL of it! I have always been obsessed with GLITTER!! ✨ I remember being a child and painting my nails silver, then pouring silver glitter over the top; inevitably fit in trouble at school the next day .. I never removed it #REBEL .. no one tells me I can’t have sparkle!

Safe to say I had a productive weekend! Housework complete, a few favourite possessions blinged up! ✨Relaxed, spent time with my Gorgeous family and managed to cook up delicious, healthy meals all weekend, too!

I enjoy my job so don’t mind that it’s Monday tomorrow! #MONSlay I hope you each have a great week ahead! Ima be really productive!

💋 SNOBFACE xx

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